Sell Out Vault 9

A Blog about Villainy, Entertainment and Shameless Self Promotion.










millennialking

The Millennial King-


Ari Bach, friend of the site and creator of The Snail Factory, has released a new book called The Millennial King. Written to be a myth for modern times, it's an extremely funny and inspirational medieval fantasy tale. But it's also more than that, it's both scathing social satire and commentary, that explores many of the widespread pessimistic attitudes towards the younger generations in our society. It's designed to be a hero story for a generation that has never had these types of heroes to represent them. It addresses issues such as finding one's purpose and place in the world, and coming into one's own. It's very imaginative, poignant and ultimately satisfying. A quest to discover what is worth questing after.

If you enjoy the kind of humor that is featured on Ari's popular Tumblr blog Facts I Just Made Up, you should definitely check out The Millennial King. Ari Bach is also the author of the Valhalla trilogy, an epic action/science fiction series.

- False Prophet

10th

10th Anniversary-


10 years ago today was the official launch of TwistedJenius.com. Quite amazing actually. A lot has changed with the Internet and even the site since then. We've grown, we've created and accumulated new content and we've improved our villainous skills.

And since that first day back in October 2006, we have gained a better perspective of who we are and what we do. We've refined our approach quite a bit. And of course we fully intend to continue to spread our dark tentacles out into the Internet and hopefully culture in general. And we intend to have fun.

This year saw a very meaningful achievement for us. We released our first game on Steam. Now that Twisty's Asylum Escapades has been unleashed on to a larger audience, we hope that it will make an impact, and you can be sure that Reptile Zoo is coming up next.

In one of the very first posts on Twisted Jenius, an Evil Rants called "Why Villainy?", I ended it by saying "But whether you find my opinions good or bad is irrelevant, as long as they're interesting." I have a feeling that things are about to get very interesting indeed! So as a surreal, dimly lit dawn rises on another decade of Twisted Jenius, we hope that you will tune in as we continue our sinister journey.

In his book "How to be a Villain", Neil Zawacki says regarding the dictionary the definition of evil- "But isn't there more to it than that? Yes, what the dictionary cleverly leaves is for an elect few to know: Evil is fun". So for this coming decade, let's have some fun. After all, what else is entertainment about?

- False Prophet

twistybite1

Twisty is being unleashed on Steam!-


The time has come for Twisty's Asylum Escapades to break out and be unleashed on the Steam store. For anyone who's been paying attention to what we've been up to at Twisted Jenius, we've spent the last year remastering the game, improving and completely overhauling all of the graphics, and adding new areas and new content to get it ready for a wider audience. And today it's finally going to be available on Steam.

The inclusion of our first game on the Steam platform is a very big and important step for us as game developers. It's the first time many people are going to see our villainous work. And indeed a lot of work went into this fiendish project over the years, and we can't wait to see the results! So go check it out and have some fun playing as everyone's favorite a giant floating brain with teeth!

- False Prophet

DarkMusingsLogo

Dark Musings are Back!-


As we begin the final leg of remastering our oddly compelling video game Twisty's Asylum Escapades for its upcoming Steam release, we are going to be bringing you another batch of Twisted Jenius's Dark Musings; our sinister and cynical series of darkly comedic ideas and observations about the world, life and, most prominently, how the world is going to eventually end your life. But don't let that scare you off, you don't have to be suicidal or death-obsessed to enjoy these. There's also plenty of corrupting encouragement and evil enthusiasm for the budding sociopath out there as well! Because we care.

Of course we realize that this type of dark humor will only be enjoyed by a certain kind of exceptional person. In some ways Twisted Jenius's Dark Musings are a little like laughter, happiness and a feeling of self-worth; they're clearly not meant for everyone.

And if you haven't seen them already, be sure to check out all of our previous Dark Musings!

- False Prophet

Ari Bach Announces Jealous Gods-


Ari Bach, the artist and writer responsible for The Snail Factory webcomic which is featured on Twisted Jenius, as well as the author of the Valhalla trilogy of books, has announced that he is going to be making a film called Jealous Gods.

Jealous Gods is described as "a college comedy with a twist" and centers on three students who get their wishes granted, with chaotic results. With its origins as a superhero spoof, the film promises biting satire and an examination of the realistic tendencies of people to act corrupt when given extraordinary power.

Jealous Gods begins shooting in early 2016 and casting is currently in progress in Colorado. Ari Bach is writer and director of the film. You can find out more at his tumblr blog about the project.

- False Prophet

Happy9th

Twisted Jenius is 9 years old today!-


It was 9 years ago today that TwistedJenius.com begin spreading it's dark vision of weird and villainous entertainment to the world (that's got to be half a century in Internet time). In that time we've done a lot of stuff and accumulated quite a lot of content on the site and this coming year you can expect to see even more from us.

For starters, we will be releasing the remastered edition of our first game Twisty's Asylum Escapades on the Steam platform. And you can expect to see a lot more from our second video game project Reptile Zoo: The Sinister Mutation, which we have already begun developing and will continue working on after the release of Asylum Escapades (be sure to follow along with our game developer blog of madness for news on that). We also have more Dark Musings coming in the next few months, ands there's a chance that you may even get to see more of our fiendishly insightful Evil Rants (articles).

I'd be remiss not to mention that friend of the site and creator of the webcomic The Snail Factory, Ari Bach, also has some stuff coming up. The third installment of his Valhalla sci-fi trilogy of books will be released later this month and he may have another equally compelling project that he's working on and will undoubtedly update you about on his tumblr blog when it's time.

There's a lot going on and I have some very high hopes for this year. If you'd like to stay updated on all of our latest schemes and plots, you can follow us on our twitter, tumblr or just go to the source, the enduring and irrepressibly evil TwistedJenius.com!

- False Prophet

twisty_bite06

There's More Twisty to Come-


For the last couple of months we've been working on remastering our first indie game, Twisty's Asylum Escapades. This is a fairly sizable update, as we are remaking and improving large portions of the game, including almost all of the graphics. The reason that we're doing this is because the game was greenlit on Steam, and we'd like to make a good impression when releasing our first game on that extremely popular platform.

Truth be told, we had actually considered Twisty's Asylum Escapades a completed project, and had moved on to developing our second game, Reptile Zoo: The Sinister Mutation, when TAE was approved to be put up on Steam. Happily, it was only a short time later that Reptile Zoo was also greenlit, and so we will be continuing development on that title right after we release the remastered version of TAE.

I have to say, despite pushing back our overall development schedule, I am very pleased that Twisty's Asylum Escapades is getting this second chance to be seen and played by what is probably a much larger audience than it was previously exposed to. This crazy little game with a man-eating brain deserves a bit more attention than it got and as the first game that we ever developed (and one that prominently features our company mascot no less), we here at Twisted Jenius are quite proud of our bizarre creation and hope that you will check it out when this improved version is released. Until then, I will try to keep everyone updated about our development.

- False Prophet

DarkMusingsLogo

Dark Musings Are Coming-


Twisted Jenius is beginning a new series that we call Dark Musings. It's a daily dark humor blog that will feature various clever, evil and villainous thoughts, with themes that are often inspired by popular proverbs and sayings. Unlike the Evil Rants, Dark Musings are not intended to be very serious most of the time, and are much more geared towards entertainment value (though true villains out there may find some of the content to be deviously evil-affirming). Among other things, one of the inspirations for the basic premise of this series was Saturday Night Lives' classic Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey skits. Another major inspiration was the humor blog facts I just made up (which you should definitely go check out).

The goal of Dark Musings is to be able to deliver a regular supply of Twisted Jenius content while we're working on some of our larger projects (such as our upcoming horror video game Reptile Zoo: The Sinister Mutation). Hopefully the somewhat sinister view of the world that this new series presents, will serve to entertain, slightly disturb and possibly even inspire you.

You can follow the Musings on Twisted Jenius's official twitter and tumblr pages. Or you can just come to TwistedJenius.com and see many of them in advance!

- False Prophet

Valhalla2

Valhalla by Ari Bach-


The premier novel from the mastermind behind The Snail Factory has been published by Harmony Ink Press!

Valhalla-

Violet MacRae is one of the aimless millions crowding northern Scotland. In the year 2330, where war is obsolete and only brilliant minds are valued, she emerges into adulthood with more brawn than brains and a propensity for violence. People dismiss her as a relic, but world peace is more fragile than they know.

In Valhalla, a clandestine base hidden in an icy ravine, Violet connects with a group of outcasts just like her. There, she learns the skills she needs to keep the world safe from genetically enhanced criminals and traitors who threaten the first friends she's ever known. She also meets Wulfgar Kray, a genius gang leader who knows her better than she knows herself and who would conquer the world to capture her.

Branded from childhood as a useless barbarian, Violet is about to learn the world needs her exactly as she is.

You can get your copy of the book from any of these fine sellers:
Barnes and Noble Nook
Barnes and Noble Paperback
Amazon Kindle
Amazon Paperback
Publisher eBook
Publisher Paperback

Pick up one and explore this futuristic world of humor, action, espionage and awesomeness! And be sure to check out Ari's blog Facts I Just Made Up, for even more fun and hilarity.

- False Prophet

Play Our Free Video Game!-


Twisty's Asylum Escapades, the 3D single-player, action/adventure video game, is now publicly available as a free open beta that you can download now. In it, you play as the Twisted Jenius mascot Twisty, and try to escape the bizarre mental asylum that you have been locked away within. As you can imagine, it features lots of dark, insane fun!

Since this is an open beta, it is not a final release and we will be updating and improving the game in the future. But we wanted to give you, our loyal legions, a chance to get your hands on it and to have some fun with it. I hope that you'll find it to be a very interesting experience and of course any feedback that you have is welcome and encouraged (we have a whole forum section for it).

The two overlords of Twisted Jenius have been working on this game for over 4 years now and we're quite proud of it. I'd also like to thank Gyps Fulvus for providing the game's eerie soundtrack. Definitely go check out more of his sinister selections.

I'm sure that I could sit here writing to you about the game all night, but I think you'd rather just go and play it!

- False Prophet

First Sell Outs Previous Sell Outs Archive




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Be as a shark among sheep
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The sheep vs. shark challenge. Who would you rather be?

"Be as a shark among sheep" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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I Choose Knowledge
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Hmmm... evil or stupidity? Standards are everything.

"I Choose Knowledge" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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Where do I see myself in 5 years?
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You may not have been able to say this in your last job interview, but we know you were thinking it.

"Where do I see myself in 5 years?" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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The law of the jungle doesn't end at the tree line
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Violence, deceit and evil? Or merely natural selection at work? You decide.

"The law of the jungle doesn't end at the tree line" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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My heroes have always been Villains
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Some of us just aren't content to cheer on the "good guys".

"My heroes have always been Villains" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!



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Modern Day Moriarty
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Even villains should have role models to look up to.

"Modern Day Moriarty" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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The law of the jungle doesn't end at the tree line
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Jungles may come in different forms, but the same basic rules still apply.

"The law of the jungle doesn't end at the tree line version 2" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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Twisted Jenius Sayings
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TwistedJenius.com: The most diabolically decorative sayings on the web.

"Twisted Jenius Sayings" original poster by Twisted Jenius, Buy it!

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Twisted Jenius Logo
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Show your pride as a member of the growing legions.

"Twisted Jenius Logo" original poster by Twisted Jenius,
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Awards won by the award winning TwistedJenius.com:
World Web Award of Excellence 2008-2009 Hawaiian Jewelry