The Snail Factory

Terry Toma

The Snail Factory

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-And she's like totally hitting on me. So I kinda brush up against her right? And I let my hand just rest real soft against her leg, and she doesn't tell me to move or slap it away so I figure she's into me right? So I lean in close and I think we're gonna kiss, but then this total douche, probly a townie shouts in her ear, "Hey baby is this guy bothering you?" and I'm fuckin' pissed, right? So I call him out and I say, "Hey dipshit, I'm talkin' to this chick why don't you go take a long hike off a short pier" and he pulls out a fuckin' switchblade! But my homies got my back and his knife hits the floor before he does, and we all high tail it out before the cops arrive and I take Kesha, that's the chick, with me. And before we even get to my house we're sittin' in the car and she undoes her safety belt and leans over and undoes my- OH SHIT. Um... Episode Seventeen Ladies and Gentlemen! Enjoy! So anyway, she leans over and-